


We'll Always Catch You.

by Angels_and_Devils



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Anxiety, Depression, Fainting, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, I'm Bad At Tagging, Insecurity, Multi, Overthinking, Overworking, Stressed Lee Taeyong
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-09
Updated: 2020-03-15
Packaged: 2021-02-26 02:13:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 21,012
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21725818
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Angels_and_Devils/pseuds/Angels_and_Devils
Summary: Lee Taeyong is the much beloved hard working leader of Nct. He is calm under pressure, caring, sweet, stable, and easy to talk to. But what you see on the outside isnt always what is happening under the mask.As Nct gains more members Taeyong slowly feels the pressure upon his shoulders become greater. Instead of asking his members for help, for fear of bringing them the same pain, he grits his teeth and tries to keep going. How long will he last though, before his members have to step in?
Relationships: Lee Taeyong/Everyone
Comments: 126
Kudos: 360





	1. 1

**Author's Note:**

> I've had this idea for a while now and thought it'd be an interesting topic,my to try my hand at. Plus there is way to little Taeyong/Everyone fics on here to read.

If you asked Taeyong when he first became a trainee,do you wanna become the leader of NCT? He would have said an immediate no, his controversies would only bring the group down and cause them pain. But as of today he wouldn't give this burden to anyone. The overwhelming pressure of always having to do perfect and having to take the fall for his members when something went wrong is a stress he will gladly take for them.  
But as NCT slowly started to grow and more and more fans flooded in, as well as members, Taeyong found himself struggling to keep his head above water, in the endless sea of responsibilities he had. Taking care of his members, learning than teaching choreography, keeping the group centered and focused on their task, it was all becoming to much for the leader.  
So here Taeyong sat in a empty practice room, head in his hands, and thoughts raging. He originally came to get out some restless energy and maybe try some new choreography ideas, but clearly that didn't go well. Every little mistake he made while dancing brought a little voice berating him for his mistake. Soon one mistake turned to two, than three, and so on until he sat with his back to the mirror breathing heavily and sobbing.  
"Are you serious? This is almost to pathetic to watch." The voice taunted. 'You are supposed to be their strong and fearless leader, now look at you. Haechan called you the pillar of the group for a reason, he would be so disappointed to see you right now."The voice ranted filling every nook and cranny in his head. The rapper whimpered and curled farther into himself as if trying to disappear from the world completely. Taeyong felt as if a twenty pound weight had been placed on his chest as he struggled to breath. Nothing seemed to stop the never ending assault of insults the voice through at Taeyong or the pounding that came with them.  
"You don't have time for this! Get up, you know the others wouldn't quit just because they where feeling sad!" Well the voice wasn't technically wrong. Taeyong had seen the members push through their bad days tons of times, he should be the same. Taeyong pulled a shaky hand away from his chest and moved to push himself up off the ground. As he made a move to get up though black spots danced across his vision and he slipped back down to the floor. "Oh come on just get up!" The voice taunted again. Taeyong sighed and with a grown moved to push himself up again. This time succeeding, well if you count taking five minutes to do so 'succeeding '.  
"There you go! Now continue, you have to keep practicing or else they might kick you off the team." The voice threatened, which kicked Taeyong in gear as he moved over to the computer to start the music again. "We all know they only keep you on the team because you pretty! I mean it's not because of dancing, the others can do that just fine with out you. And rapping is easily held down by Mark, even Jaehyun can rap better than you and he's a vocalist!" It continued berating Taeyong as he started the music again and moved back to his spot at the center. "You must work hard, show them they should at least consider keeping you!"  
And for once Taeyong didn't disagree with the voice. He did need to keep improving, for the team, he couldn't let them down. So Taeyong stayed in the practice room for most of the night. Dancing to songs over and over again, memorizing them back and forth, until he new them like the back of his hand. He only decided to stop when his phone started to run out of battery, and he realized he didn't bring a charger. He packed up his things and checked his phone to see the time, but was met with a rather disappointing 5:00 glaring at him. His members would be so upset if they found out he had stayed out that long.  
"No don't think about that, think about how much practice you got in to deserve to be here at least." The voice interrupted reminding Taeyong what he was originally hear to do. The leader nodded, distracted by checking his messages. He was a little disappointed to see none of his members messaged him asking him where he was, but pushed it away. They have more important things to do than ever worry about him, they shouldn't have to be he's the leader. "Good, that's right." The voice agreed.  
Taeyong smiled at the praise from the voice and pulled his backpack over his shoulders. He walked out of the building and started on his way home, putting his headphones in to block out the busy noise of the city. He thought about ways to improve on his rapping, dancing, and overall leadership skills on his journey home only stopping once he made his way up the stairs to the dorm.  
The leader unlocked the door to the dorm and walked in to be met with complete silence and darkness. He smiled sadly and sat his bag down to lock the door back. At least the members got to bed on time, and will be rested enough for the schedule today. "Same can't be said for you." The voice snarked, effectively ruining Taeyong's three seconds of happiness. It was right however, Taeyong knew he wasn't going to get any sleep with the way his brain seemed to be running at a mile a minute tonight. "Why don't you try writing something, contribute something to the team besides looks." Taeyong smiled at that, it wasn't actually a bad idea. He pulled his lap top out of his bad, along with his head phones, and made his way to the couch to sit down.  
He pulled a cover around himself that was left on the couch, probably by Jisung, and began to brain storm ideas for songs. The two hours he spent there seemed to pass by in seconds as he finally closed his lap top with half a song done and a new exhausted feeling added to the weight on his chest. He pushed himself up though we decided now would be a good time to make breakfast for the others. "Good idea, maybe they won't notice the hideous bags under your eyes than." The voice mocked. Taeyong rolled his eyes at that, it made no sense but he didn't want to make himself feel crazy by fighting with a voice in his head. He did make a mental note to put and extra coat of concealer on though.  
He than moved to get started cooking breakfast for the others, and never had cooking for 21 been so hard but he kinda did this to himself so he sucked it up. As he finished and out all the plates away he went to Yuta's room and some him and Johnny up, and told them to wake the others as well. Not long after the others began to trickle into the room in different states of awake and asleep. Taeyong tried not to giggle at the cuteness they each where displaying for fear of chocking on his ,fourth, cup of coffee.  
"Morning hyung, thanks for making the food." Mark greeted as he passed by clearly still half asleep cause he said it in english. This caused Johnny to snort and steer the younger to his seat at the table before he fell over.Everyone got their serving of food and sat down in their spots at the table (or living room cause seriously what kinda table will fit 21 people?!).  
"Hey hyung, what time did you get back last night? We didn't see you before before bed." Heachan asked as he slid Jaemin's bowl of cereal out from under his head, before he fell asleep in it. Taeyong froze for a second before clearing his throat and turning to make her another cup of coffee.  
" Oh I don't know maybe 11:00, I got a bit stuck up at the company. " Taeyong lied, as he tried to look as non-suspicious as possible. The younger nodded at that and continued to eat along with everyone else. The dancer sighed in relief at that and took another sip of his coffee. Clearly missing the long concerned look Taeil and Johnny where giving each other.  
Taeyong's phone suddenly vibrated, startling him a little which caused Yuta to laugh loudly. Taeyong gave him a dirty look before picking it up to see a message saying the manager was on his way to pick them up. "Alright people the manager is on his way, time to get ready!" Taeyong announced clapping his hands. He was met with loud goans and signs as the others moved to get up and go to their rooms to get ready. The leader sighed and leaned against the counter to run his temples. He just had to make it through today and than he could go to bed when he gets home and get this headache away.  
"Sorry to break it to you honey but you still have to work non-stop to prove your needed here." The voice butted in for what felt like the 100th time that day. Oh that was right, he had to work harder now. Well he can just nap on the way to their schedules no big deal. Taeyong then through back the rest of his coffee and sent a text back to their manager saying they where getting ready. Yeah he could definitely do this.


	2. 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Taeyong and the team start practice for the day and everything seems to be going great. However for Taeyong everything seems to be on a downward spiral. Nothing seems to be enough for the voice in his head, every mistake he made shone loud and clear to Taeyong but the members don't seem to notice how he kept failing.  
> In fact the things the members notice is that he looks more tired and isn't as cherry as he usually is but what could be bothering their strong leader? And should they step in?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeesh I don't know how I feel about this one, but I decided to post it anyway. Hope you enjoy, stay healthy everyone💜

It was around 12:30 when the group made it to the practice room after their photo shoot. Taeyong himself had drank at least a cup and a half more of coffee since this morning and was probably feeling even worse.  
" _Its all part of the plan to get better"_ the voice whispered to Taeyong. The leader sighed and decided to try to ignore the voice in favor of leaning his head on Johnny's shoulder. He closed his eyes and listened to the rumble of the van and the sound of Johnny's breathing, letting himself be lulled into a sleep.  
Johnny looked down at Taeyong, who was now sleeping on his shoulder, in worry. The older had noticed the leader had seemed more tired this morning and the bags under his eyes had somehow looked deeper than usual. Although Taeyong was the leader of the team and was supposed to take care of everyone, Johnny thought he needed just as much taking care of. The older looked up to Taeil who seemed to be sharing his sentiments. He was looking back at them from the second row, which sat Doyoung, Jaehyun, and him.  
They where both older than Taeyong. And although the younger didn't act like it much any more, he was still young and very much a child at heart. They could see it every once in awhile, moments where Taeyong would play with the children, act goofy, and just let go for a few moments. But those moments where few and far inbetween, and when they did happen they only lasted for a few moments before slipped back into his leader role.  
He must have been thinking for to long because before he knew it the van pulled into the company parking lot. The others moved to get out but Johnny hesitated, not really wanting to wake the leader up. But ultimately, with a look from their manager he shook the younger lightly. The leader opened his eyes slowly and looked up to Johnny. The elder smiled at the look of confusion, almost like a lost puppy.  
"Come on Yongie we gotta get inside." Johnny murmured . The younger nodded and moved to get out of the car, staggering a little when he stood, and that didn't go unnoticed by Johnny. Taeyong and Johnny soon made their way into the building to join the others in getting ready for practice.  
"Hey hyung! What song should we practice today?" Jaemin asked, hopping over to Taeyong in excitement that Taeyong himself wish he had right now. Taeyong smiled and ruffled the younger hair.  
"How about black on black?" Taeyong offered putting his bag down by the benches. The others nodded and moved to get into their places as Jeno moved to start the music.when the music began and as they started dancing Taeyong immediately knew this was going to be a tough practice.  
_"Dear Lord straighten up! Your moves are looking so sluggish and your off a beat!"_ The voice shouted causing Taeyong to flinch slightly . He quickly tried to compose himself and tried to move faster. _"Oh dear Lord you look like an idiot everyone else is doing perfect, your supposed to be the lead dancer, how disappointing."_ The voice snarked sounding like a disappointed parent.  
The leader sighed and moved to his place in the choreography where he stands on the others backs. As he stood over them his vision blurred for a minute, Taeyong almost panicked but when his vision cleared again he was back on the ground dancing just as he should be. He must have been going through muscle memory.  
_"Are you serious!"_ The voice laughed. _"Your the leader and your blacking out and not trying your best in the practices!"_ Taeyong realised it was right, it was rather pathetic that he was doing this, they deserved better. The leader berated himself in his head and focused back on his dancing, honing in on each move.   
The practice ran long, going through each individual song left Taeyong tired and even more angry with himself and his he was doing overall. By the end of it he was feeling rather defeated and tired. He walked over to his bag and picked up his water bottle before plopping down beside Winwin and drinking it. The younger gave the older a long look, cocking his head to the side in thought.  
"Hey hyung, are you okay?" The younger asked giving him a worried look. Taeyong cursed himself and Winwin's observation skills in that moment . He turned to the younger and smiled softly  
" Yeah I'm completely fine Winwinnie, just a little tired. " Taeyong responded pulling himself up and walking to the fridge to get another water bottle. He could really use another coffee but he didn't want to be to suspicious.  
Practice went pretty smoothly after that, only a few mess ups from the members (and a lot from Taeyong if you ask him). But overall it was a good day. At the end Taeyong called for the end and told everyone to pack up. Taeil nodded to Johnny and the elder walked over to Taeyong.  
"Oh Yongie!" Johnny called, leaning on Taeyong's shoulder slightly . "We wanted to have a movie night for the kids, what do you think?" The older asked winking at Taeil who rolled his eyes playfully. The leader tensed up at the thought.

_"You cant! "_ The voice growled . _"You need to stay and get better, unless you wanna chance being kicked out."_ The voice taunted . Taeyong shook his head softly not wanting to let the voice win but also not wanting to risk being kicked out.  
"I'm good hyung I'll stay back, I want to get some more practice in." the dancer replied leaning down to re-tie his shoes. Johnny shot Taeil a concerned look. The older shrugged, looking just as lost on what to do. "Are you sure?" He asked, really hoping the younger will change his mind.  
" Yeah I'm sure hyung, don't worry about it to enjoy your movie night. " Taeyong reassured patting Johnny lightly on the shoulder. The older nodded still wanting to fight the leader in it but decided not to risk getting into an argument over it.  
The others slowly started to file out most giving the leader a long concerned look before leaving. Taeyong than turned back to the mirror and found his eyes. _"Jeez you look like crap."_ the voice laughed as if mocking him. It was right he looked paler than usual , his bags where deeper, and he looked like he had lost some weight, face almost looking bony. _"Welp guess they can't keep you cause of your visual any more. All the more reason to work harder"_ the voice coerced. Taeyong signed for what felt like the hundredth time that day and moved back to his spot. Just gotta keep going, they deserve that much. He needed to be better for them.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maybe Taeyong wasn't as okay as he hoped he would be, but what can be do he has to be perfect enough. For the kids, for the fans, for everyone. Just keep going that's all he has to do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would have updated more but I had finals. So I'll try to make it up through out my brake 💜

It was two hours in to practicing after everyone had left and Taeyong was honestly starting to regret the choice to stay. He wasn't getting anything done and he was starting to feel incredibly fatigued. His limbs felt like they where held down by bricks and it was only making his movements sloppy and the voice louder.

_"Jeez, you look pretty pathetic right now. "_ The voice laughed as Taeyong looked in the mirror to see that yes he did look quite awful. His bags seemed to take up more room than usual and his usual full cheeks looked sunken in and pale. He resembled a dead man walking and that made Taeyong want to scream in anger. No matter how hard he tries nothing ever seems to make the voice shut up or help him to be better.

"Will I ever get better?" He asked, to no one in particular, and he turned his back to the mirror and slid down to the floor. He was starting to shake at the cold air that touched his skin and his stomach seemed to churn as if he was on a rollercoaster . 'Jeez maybe he was getting sick' he thought in passing as he looked around the room with tired eyes.

He let his mind drift away from the sickness and pain he felt all over to the happier memories the group shared in this room. The time they surprised Jisung for his birthday, the time they all sat around and played games and danced for hours (only to get yelled at by their manager later), or the time they all sat huddled together in a puppy pile and matched movies for hours. Each memory flashed into his head and left a euphoric sense that left Taeyong at ease. 

_"It's been so long since you have been able to hang out with all of them. "_ The voice observed, sounding indifferent for once. Yeah it really had been a while. He misses them, even though he sees them every day. _"M-maybe we could g-go to them just this once"_ Well that was new. When has the voice ever sounded so weak and timid? When has it ever suggested to get help?

This caused Taeyong to focus on his body again, and damn did it hurt. His legs and arms felt like someone was poking needles into his skin one by one and his head had the fejng of several jackhammers chipping at his skull. Maybe he really had messed up this time. 

The leader moved to get up but quickly realized that wasn't going to happen when his arms and legs wouldn't move correctly. Almost as if gravity had been increased ten fold. Yeah he definitely messed up this time. 

Silent tears of frustration slowly slid down his face as he tried to will his body to move, only to be disappointed. He collapsed back with a sob and closed his eyes so he wouldn't have to see the practice room full of happy memories that remind him that he can't be with his members. Everything became fuzzy after that, almost as if his brain was shutting down and giving him a ways of escape. He gladly excepted the dark shadowy hand as it pulled him away from the embarrassment and depressing reality he was in and into a dark, peaceful, sleep. 

When Taeyong woke it was to the sound of a door slamming shut. He opened his eyes to see that the wasn't in fact in his room but still in the practice room.

_"Did they even look for you? "_ The voice questioned, with a hint of sadness to its tone. Jeez what was up with it lately? Taeyong shook his head at that and moved to get up. He found that it was significantly less hard than last night even though it still hurt to move, it was manageable. He gathered all his stuff and moved to get his phone and looked at the time. 6:00 well this seems to be a recurring thing, to spend nights in here. No messages, as usual and no calls. Good they didn't need to be staying up to worry about him. Although he couldn't help the little pang of hurt he felt in his heart for a moment. The rapper ignored it and shoved the phone into his pocket and set off to the dorm to where he could hopefully do something productive for the members before they woke up. 

" _Might want to use more concealer than usual, wouldn't want the members to worry."_ The voice advised. The leader supposed he was right, he did look extremely worse for wear and worrying his members would only cause more problems.But

As he got back to the dorm he walked in and eat down his bag and immediately moved to go to the kitchen but stopped when he noticed the WayV members laying in different positions all across the living room. Oh no did they stay up all night. Taeyong was mortified by the thought, not wanting any of his members to be feeling the same way he was feeling.

"They wanted to wait for you." Came a rough voice from behind him. Taeyong jumped and turned to find Jaehyun leaning against the door frame to the kitchen with two cups of coffee in hand. Taeyong was at a loss of what to say.

"Their to young to be doing that." Taeyong managed out as Jaehyun walked over and gave the older a cup. Jaehyun snorted at that and gave him the ' are you serious ' look. Taeyong only averted his gaze back to the sleeping kids. He should by more blankets to put in the living room in case anyone sleeps in there more.

" Hey, stop that. " Jaehyun whispered flicking the leader softly in the forehead. Taeyong looked at him in confusion which caused Jaehyun to snort. "Stop being ' the leader ' for a second and just be Taeyong." The younger explained pulling Taeyong to the kitchen by the arm. " I swear you act more like a parent than our leader. " he muttered as pulled some out left overs from the fridge.

"Its kinda my job." Taeyong muttered as he took a sip of his coffee and smiled , just how he likes it.

" Have you eaten since you been practicing? " Jaehyun asked, completely ignoring the rappers comment.

"Yeah I ha-" 

"Welp your getting some more than." Jaehyun interrupted as he slipped a plate into the microwave and started it up. Taeyong smiled softly at the younger's persistence, remembering the days him and Jaehyun used to stay up most nights drinking hot chocolate and talking. What changed?

"Hyung is that you?" A soft voice came from the door. Taeyong turned to see Kun standing in a fuzzy sweater ( Taeyong's sweater) looking quite cute.

" Hey Kunnie. " Taeyong whispered as he held his arms open. The younger immediately walked into he leaders arms and leaned against his chest. "You guys should be sleeping in your own beds, you'll be sore when you wake up." The leader scolded softly as he ran a hand through the younger's hair. The younger looked down in guilt but than smacked his chest lightly.

" You're one to talk hyung" the younger whispered as he pulled the elder into a deeper hug. Kun's boldness caused Taeyong to chuckle softly.

"I suppose your right." He agreed as Jaehyun placed a bowl of ramen in front of him.

" Yeah the left overs kinda burned in the microwave, so ramen it is. " he laughed in embarrassment as he rubbed the back of his neck. Taeyong giggled at the younger 's cuteness and pulled him down to give him a kiss on the cheek.

"It's perfectly fine honey. " he reassured as he moved, a now asleep, Kun into Jaehyun's arms. "Why don't you take the kids to bed, I'll be up in a bit." Taeyong offered as he picked up his chopsticks to take a bite. The younger gave him a look that made Taeyong laugh. "I'll be up soon I promise." Jaehyun nodded and pulled Kun up with him and into the living room to get the kids. 

One by one the kids filed out of the living room and gave Taeyong a hug before sluggishily moving there way up the stairs to their rooms. Once Taeyong was alone he signed and stood to stretch. How much had he been staying away for the youngers to feel like they had to wait up for him?

_"Does it really matter, you made them worry!"_ The voice seethed. Ah yes there it is. Seems the voice is feeling better. Taeyong pushed it away for now, not wanting to think negative things when he goes to join the others. He finished up the ramen Jaehyun made and put the bowl in the sink. 'Just keep going everything will be ok.' He told himself as he made his way up the stairs. Funny if he tries hard enough he actually kinda believes himself.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now that Taeyong finally seems to be resting and they have two days off its time for the others to have a meeting about their leader.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Felt inspired today so here is another chapter, stay healthy loves 💜

On days they had off like this one, they usually would get up and perform their daily duties like cleaning or working on lyrics but today was a little different from those days. As soon as the sun peeked over the horizon the elders, Johnny and Taeil, and gathered the members who where laying around (save for sleeping Taeyong and WayV members who where sleeping) and started a meeting.

"Alright kids so I'm going to cut straight to the chase." Johnny started as he sat down inbetween Jungwoo and Chenle. "We have all noticed something has been going on with Taeyong recently, yes?" He asked looking around. The others nodded immediately looking a little more serious than usual at the mention of their leader's struggling. " Alright, than we need to figure out what is wrong with him so we can help him. " Johnny continued.

"That's right, so everyone start to think of anything even little things that could have caused him to act this way." Taeil suggested as he sat back in his recliner.

It went silent for a solid five minutes while everyone tried to think of things before Mark spoke up. " Well I noticed manager-nim has been yelling at him more recently. " he said raising his hand slightly.

"Do you remember what about?" Doyoung asked looking quite angry.

" Something about him slacking off of his leadership duties. " Mark mumbled looking quite guilty.

"Hey, none of that. Hindsight is twenty-twenty Mark. There is no use beating yourself up for it now." Johnny interrupted slipping into one of his rare ' serious hyung moments '. "The same thing goes for all of you. What ever you remember it isn't your fault if it is bad." He continued looking at everyone in the process .

"I remember he went to the bathroom last week and he accidentally left his phone on and there was some... Not nice tweets about him." Jeno stated looking a bit disgusted. "Talking about how the only reason he is here is because he has a pretty face." The younger whispered looking almost ready to vomit.

Yuta growled lowly at that. " I told him to stop looking at that stuff, it always makes him feel useless ." Jaehyun rubbed his thigh in comfort, trying to calm the Japanese male down before he turned to Jeno again.

"Was there anything else?" He asked calmly ,but anyone could tell he himself was ready to tear through someone.

"Just comments about how we'd be better off with out him and that he's talentless." The younger answered, cringing slightly as the words left his mouth. Everyone stayed silent for a minute. How had they not noticed their leader was suffering so badly from these terrible people. They should have protected him.

"Well, what do we do about it?" Doyoung chocked out sounding uncharacteristically upset. No one answered, usually it was Taeyong who helped fix these things. But now it was him who needed helping and they felt helpless.

"We need to make sure of everything." Jaehyun stated, causing everyone to look at him. " We can't just bring it up to him and talk about this with out any evidence, he'll clam up and hide from us. More than he already has. " The singer reasoned as he looked between all the other members. "Well keep a close eye on him and find out everything and than talk to him collectively. We can't give him a way out by it just being a couple of us, he needs to see we are all worried about him." The others nodded a little amazed at Jaehyun's initiative.

"Alright kids uhh disperse for now?" Johnny stuttered as he made a shooing motion with his hand. " We'll talk about this more when we aren't on brake, ok? " the older stated as the others got up to move out of the room. Johnny heaved a deep sigh and turned to find Jaehyun and Doyoung holding in their laughter as Taeil shook his head in amusement. Johnny immediately picked up two pillows and chuckled them at the younger's causing them to start laughing maniacally. "Shut up I've never led a meeting before, that's usually Taeyong's job!" Johnny whined as he sunk into the couch next to Taeil .

"You did find Johnny, we just have demons for donsaeng's." Taeil comforted causing the younger two to squak at the insult. Both the elders laughed at the two as they gave them betrayed looks and everything in that moment seemed completely fine. Like they weren't idols who were carrying the world in their shoulders , just friends joking around. Man did Johnny miss those days . 

Their laughing was soon interrupted by the sound of someone clearing their throat. There in the doorway stood Taeyong and most of the (half asleep) WayV members.

"They wanted to be included to but they are really tired." Taeyong laughed as he lead a barely standing Lucas over to the couch , the others following like ducklings after their mom.

"Well we have enough room." Jaehyun replied as he suddenly got a lap full of Yang Yang. The others liked into the couch after him, pull it Taeyong down in the process.

"How long have you all been up?" Taeyong asked as he rubbed Hendery's back, who was laying on top of him.

"Not long just wanted to watch the sun rise." Doyoung answered as he moved to pull Winwin and Xiao Jun into a hug. "The colors where pretty." He mumbled causing Taeyong to chuckle softly.

"I'm sure they where, anything else?" The leader asked as he looked up at the roof looking lost in thought. Johnny gave Taeil a concerned look before turning back to Taeyong .

"Nope, just like any boring old morning." Johnny replied, hating how easily be lied to the leader. Taeyong bummed and moved Hendery over to Taeil so he could get up. 

" How about breakfast? " Taeyong asked seeming suddenly more cheerful almost giving the members whiplash. "What does everyone want?" He called as he walked into the kitchen. An immediate chorus of replies came from around the dorm causing Taeyong to smile softly. Today seemed like it was going to be a good day, the kids where up and excited (Well almost all of the kids), the voice was being more quite, and they had the day off. Never mind the pounding headache he had or the black spots he'd get in his vision when ever he bent down. Everything was going to go great, it has to. What could possibly go wrong?


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Okay so maybe Taeyong wasn't entirely ok. Maybe he should have looked for help as soon as he saw the warning signs of him getting sick. He should have told some one before it got to this point. Jeez how stupid he was.

Breakfast had gone fairly well for the group Taeyong would say. He successfully got the WayV kids up and made sure they didn't fall asleep in their food in the process, so Taeyong called that a win. After everyone had their fills of food, most scattered to different parts of the dorm to do their own things while Taeyong sat in the kitchen and went over some of the schedules their manager had went home for him to memorize.

Being a leader was a full time duty with many tasks, one being memorizing all the schedules and being able to get the members ready on time for them. It was tiring but if Taeyong focused hard enough on the fact that it he did it no one else had to carry that burden,it was almost easier to do. No matter how exhausted, and how hard his head pounded the leader needed to keep reading, for the team.

"Yongie, it's our day off and are you doing?" Doyoung asked as he sat in front of the leader at the table. The younger had immediately sensed the leaders tiredness as he walked by to get a bottle of water and wanted to help.

"Just trying to remember all the schedules for the next couple of days." The rapper mumbled as he flipped a page of two. Doyoung signed at that. How many times do they have to tell him that he didn't need to constantly work himself into the ground to please management? The leader had a bad habit of taking everything the management team told him to do and going above it. Almost like he was trying to be an overachiever, but everyone in the group could tell that's not what was happening. The leader was just scared that if he slipped, just a little bit, that they would take it out on the team. And it pained Doyoung to see the leader think that when really he was the only one that suffered that fait on a regular basis.

"Come on Ty, we have two days off. Why don't you just relax? " The singer tried to convince as he reached for the papers. Taeyong immediately pulled back and glared at Doyoung causing the other to flinch. Taeyong's eyes immediately softened at the move and the elder sighed.

"I'm sorry Doyoung, I just- let me read a little more and I'll take a break, ok?" Taeyong reassured, hoping that the younger would leave it alone. Doyoung held eye contact with the leader for a while, almost like he was looking for something in his eyes before signing and nodding.

"Fine hyung,just remember to take a break." He reminded as he stood again to walk back to the living room, bottle of water long forgotten. 

Taeyong groaned at the guilty feeling seeping it's way into his heart. He shouldn't have done that,Doyoung was just trying to be nice.

_"Yeah, you acted like a jerk. "_ The voice laughed as Taeyong laid his head on the cool table top. Well it wasn't wrong, he was being a jerk recently. Man had this table top always felt so nice. Now that he mentioned it his head was throbbing a bit more than earlier and his stomach seemed to churn with every breathe. 

Taeyong pushed himself up quickly at the feeling of bile coming up in his throat. He stumbled his way out of the kitchen and down the hallway to the bathroom. He's slammed the door shut and locked it, than dropped to his knees in front of the toilet as he emptied his stomach into the bowl.

The sound of Taeyong's heart roared in his years as the leader gasped for breathe before heaving more in to the toilet. Some where in the back of his mind Taeyong heard the sound of pounding on the door but quickly pushed it away as more bile came up in his throat. He sobbed as his headache increased and black spots started to dance in his vision. The pounding on the door became louder causing Taeyong to whimper in pain.

"Taeyong! Baby please open the door!" Johnny's voice broke through the painful cloud that engulfed his thoughts. " Come on Yongie just unlock the door, we'll have to break it down if you don't. " The elder warned.

Taeyong immediately tried to speak up and tell them not to. He was fine, he just needed to get it out of his system. But every time he went to speak more vomit came up in his throat and a fresh wave of tears came pouring out of his eyes.

"Taeyong please open up!" Called Yuta in broken Korean as his voice cracked and he too pounded on the door. The noise mixed in with the way he was feeling slowly started to build until Taeyong was curled up on the floor sobbing.

_"Get up!"_ The voice yelled causing the leader to flinch . _"Open the door stupid, show them your ok!"_ A sob ripped itself from Taeyong's throat as he pushed himself to get up only to fallback to the cold floor.

" _Pathetic, drag your but up and open the damn door!"_ The voice yelled. Taeyong simply laid there as the door began to shake with how hard the members where pounding on it.

" I CAN'T! " Taeyong screamed as he curled into himself tighter. "I can't, I can't I can't ." He continued to mumble as he rocked back in forth with his hands over his ears. " please leave me alone. " he cried as the sound of the bathroom door being slammed open was heard.

Hands where suddenly all over him and voices replaced the one in his head. "Taeyong are you ok?" , "What's wrong baby?" , "Please answer ." . All the voices where almost to much. Until a pair of hands pulled him up off the floor and a pair of arms wrapped around him.

"Yongie, sweets, look at me." Came Jaehyun's deep voice. Taeyong sobbed in relief at the familiar feeling and relaxed slightly into the youngers arms. He was safe, the voice never bothered him to much when Jaehyun was around. "Come on babe, open your eyes." He coerced as he ran a hand through the elders hair. No response .

Taeyong tried to open his eyes, he really did. But when he realized he was safe a new sense of exhaustion took hold of him and was slowly encompassing his mind. Taeyong followed it willingly chasing after the safe a warm sleep as he drifted into unconsciousness. 

The last thing he heard was Jaehyun whimper out his name in alarm before he gave up staying awake all together and fell into the darkness of sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was kinda hard to write. Seeing Taeyong in any situation like this really tugs on the heart strings. Never the less it's all in the name of fluff that comes later in the story. Promise he won't suffer for much longer, fluff will come soon. Stay healthy loves💜


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How did they let this happen?   
> They had a plan, they where going to help him. So how did it and so badly, so quickly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's a new chapter to break in the new year. Happy New year's loves and I hope you stay healthy and happy in the new decade💜

"Yongie, baby open your eyes please!" Jaehyun whimpered he hugged the limp leader closer. It was almost as if the world fell away in that moment and it was just him and Taeyong . A million thoughts ran through his head as he stared at the elders peaceful expression. The main one being 'why didn't he come to them.' He was so adamant about the others coming to him when they where hurting or upset but he never did the same.

Jaehyun was broken from his trance when a thin line of blood slowly began to trickle it's way out of Taeyong's nose and down his face. All the sounds he had been blocking out in favor of focusing on Taeyong came rushing back as he looked up in alarm. The sight in front of him was a heart breaking one. The dreamies had somehow made their way to the door and where now standing, watching in horror. Doyoung was holding Yuta up off the ground. It seems he had fainted upon seeing Taeyong laying in the floor. And Johnny and Taeil, they where probably the worst sight. The two eldest, who had help them together and where trying too prevent Taeyong from falling to deep into that dark pit, where now standing with fear and remorse in their eyes.

Jaehyun could see it clear as day on their faces, they blamed themselves. Johnny was leaning against the wall as tears rolled down his face and Taeil was on his knees by the door, eyes never leaving Taeyong's prone form. He knows they are feeling horrible right now but this was no time to break down . Taeyong needed them and the dreamies needed to get out of here.

"Hyung." Jaehyun called looking to Taeil . The eldest didn't seem to have the strength to move so he would need to leave along with the dreamies. "Hyung, take the dreamies and go to your room." He ordered as he pulled Taeyong closer so how glossy face couldn't be seen by the dreamies any more. Taeil seemed to small out of it at the mention of the dreamies. He nodded softly before standing and quickly steering the dreamies out of the door way.

"Doyoung take Yuta away as well, tell him everything when he wakes up." The singer ordered as he turned to Johnny who looked like he was trying to pull himself together. Jaehyun signed softly at that and called for the older.

"Hyung I know your not at your best right now but I need you to go call the manager and ask him if it's ok to call an ambulance." Jaehyun coerced , as he rocked himself and Taeyong back and forth. Johnny hesitated before he nodded and ran out of the bathroom.

Jaehyun signed once everyone was gone and looked back down to Taeyong. His nose had turned from a trickle to a steady flow, that had soaked Jaehyun's shirt from where he was leaning on him. He hissed at the sight and immediately reached for the toilet paper next to him to hold his nose.

The sound of foot steps flattering towards him made him pause and look up to the door. There stood Kun and Ten holding towels and a bowl of water. He thanked and and every deity out there that he still had some level headed members to help him and motioned for them to come in.

"Oh Yongie." Ten whispered as he pulled a towel out of the pile and held it to the leaders face. Kun immediately went to work wetting a towel and willing down the fellow leaders face . Kun himself had his own problems with leading WayV and had his fair share of sick days because of it. But after Yang Yang cornered him and dragged him into their room with the rest of the WayV members to talk it out he learned to come to them even when it sucked to do so. Which is why it hurt so much to see his fellow leader looking like this. Knowing Taeyong had been feeling like he had tore him apart.

"His temp is to high." Kun commented as he folded the towel and played it across Taeyong's forehead causing the leader to shiver in displeasure.

"Johnny's calling management right now." Jaehyun replied as he took over wiping the blood from Taeyong's nose.

"Screw management, we shouldn't have to ask to get and ambulance for a member who is in this state." Ten growled , as he looked down at his leader. How dare they, Taeyong was in the worst state he has ever seen one of the members and they have to wait to call a damn ambulance.

"Agreed." Jaehyun chuckled brokenly. They sat there in silence as the dorm hustled around them. Just focusing on their sick leader, who shouldn't even be sick.

"They said to go ahead and call and ambulance." Johnny called as he jogged back into the bathroom .

"They did?" Kun asked, surprise evident in his face. 

" Well I had to persuade them a bit but yes they did. " Johnny grimaced looking a little disgusted at the mention of having to persuade the management. "Winwin is calling them right now." He continued before he too squatted down next to Taeyong .

"You here that Yongie? Their coming, just hold on for us baby." Ten whispered as he removed the wet towel to place a kiss upon the elders forehead. Jaehyun smiled sadly at the sight, in any other situation the sight would have been endearing but this just brought tears to his eyes.

They all sat there in silence only ever moving to change towels or to check up on if the ambulance was close or not. Once the sound of sirens approaching in the background began the others let out a breathe of relief. Taeyong would get help soon, he would be ok. They would make sure of it this time. They would take better care of him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Year's loves 💜


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Once at the hospital everyone settles down and waits for Taeyong to come around and for the doctors diagnosis.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Usually I don't update this fast but I keep seeing things that give me ideas for this story. Sorry for the inconsistent schedule😅. Hope you enjoy loves 💜

To say that the team's day had been a hectic one was a huge understatement. It felt like they where on a broken rollercoaster that would not stop and one problem after another was hitting them full speed.

Once they got to the hospital it brought a moment for them to sit, take a break, and just breathe. And boy where they a sight to see. Most members where still in their comfy cloths (sweat pants and oversized hoddies) while some still where in their pajamas. Along with Taeyong they had also taken Yuta because he passed out, which upon waking up Yuta replied and I quote "that's bullshit I'm fine! " That caused a lot of snickers from the dreamies who got a slap to the back of the head by Kun.

Inevitably Yuta came back with a nurse who ordered them to make sure he doesn't do anything to strenuous, which caused Yuta to grumble and sink into a chair to sulk. Johnny nodded and thanked the lady with a bow before turning back to the others. Fitting 20 people in a private waiting room wasn't easy and it brought a few laughs but they managed. Many of the kids where sitting on the floor playing rock, paper, scissors or other random games while the elders where either watching with smiles or asleep.

"How long do you think it will be hyung?" Chenle asked , looking up from getting beat by Jisung in rock, paper, scissors for the eleventh time (Johnny counted). Johnny didn't know how to answer that, from what he had seen Taeyong was in a serious state and the doctors where worried. But Johnny didn't want to worry the kids with that information so he just settled for a 'soon maybe' 

"I don't know sweetie, don't worry though hyung is strong." He replied patting him on the shoulder before returning to his seat inbetween Taeil and Yuta.His eyes scanned the room and fell in the two empty seats to the right of Yuta where Doyoung and Jaehyun had been sitting. Long ago Doyoung had dragged Jaehyun to the bathroom to change him out of his bloody cloths and clean up. after Taeyong had been swept away and was in the care of the doctors Jaehyun almost became statue like. He seemed to shut down never speaking a word and staring off into the distance for long points in time unless some one mentioned Taeyong's name.

Johnny was worried for him. He knew Jaehyun was just dealing with a shocking situation the best way his brain knew how but he couldn't help but sorry for the younger. Jaehyun was always mature but back when he was the maknae of their group he was easily stressed and would often have nights he would cry in Taeyong or Johnny's arms. Seeing what he was earlier made Johnny proud, the younger had grown so much over the years. But in Johnny's eyes he was still his sweet maknae who looked at the world with rose tinted glasses.

"Family of Taeyong Lee?" Came a calm, soft voice. Everyone's heads immediately snapped to the woman standing in the doorway. The nurse looked shocked at the amount of people in the room which would have made Johnny laugh if it wasn't for their situation .

"We're his group." Johnny explained stepping forward. The nurse schooled her expression and smiled.

"Of course,my apologies. "She replied looking down at her clipboard. "Mr. Lee is in a stable condition. However the doctor says he was extremely dehydrated and malnourished. He also states that the level of stress Mr. Lee is under could be even more detrimental to his health then it is now. He recommends he take time off his schedule to rest." She explains smiling sadly at the guilty looks on the boys faces. 

"Thank you miss." Taeil whispered as he gave her a bow. She nodded and turned to go back to leave but paused and turned.

" I've seen plenty of idols in here with the same problem as Mr. Lee. " She stated. "And their members always blame themselves. Let me tell you however that he does not blame you and is rather worried your going to be upset with him. " the others looked shocked at the news the nurse gave causing her to chuckle softly. "Take care of him boys. He needs you. You may go back to see him he's in room 143." She said opening the door.

Immediately the others got up and walked out save for Yuta who said he would wait for Doyoung and Jaehyun. The members made their way down the hallway to Taeyong's room and each step gave them more anxiety. Taeyong had been their rock for so long and to see him as anything other than the strong pillar he was felt wrong. But as they stepped in front of the leaders door and was him sitting on the bed all the anxiety seemed to flush away. They split themselves into small groups and entered one at a time. Johnny, Taeil, Jungwoo, and Lucas where first.

"Boys I know your out their stop stalling and get in here." Came Taeyong's raspy voice. The others smiled at that and walked in. To say Taeyong looked small in the huge bed was and understatement . The boy was already one of the skinniest members but the white sheets and huge mattress made him look almost to small for them to handle. However Taeyong wore the same smile he always did, one that the others where slowly recognizing as one he wears when he is hiding now he really feels. 

Jungwoo was the first to break the silence with a sob as he bolted in to Taeyong's arms. Taeyong hugged him back immediately, burying his face in the boys hair with a broken chuckle. "I though we where going to loose you." Sobbed the younger as he held onto the older like he would disappear any second. " You where laying there with blood all over you, I thought you where going to die. " Taeyong cringed at the words the younger said before slowly unwrapping his arms and bringing his face up so he could look into his eyes.

"Baby I would never leave you all." He whispered as he rubbed the youngers tears away with his thumb. "I'm right here in not going anywhere." He reassured bringing Jungwoo back into the hug. Johnny and Taeil smiled softly at the scene while Lucas jumped into the hug as well causing Taeyong to laugh.

Taeyong looked up over the youngers heads to Johnny and Taeil who froze to their spots at the sight of tears pouring from the leaders eyes. He didn't look particularly upset but rather happy as he gave them a watery smile. He waved them over an into the hug. 

"Not that I don't enjoy being with you all but where are the other kids? "Taeyong sniffles as he looked to Taeil.

"We didn't want to overwhelm you so we decided to come in, in groups." The elder explained, causing the leaders to scoff.

"Bull crap bring them in, I want to see my babies." He demanded causing Johnny and Taeil to snort. Johnny called for the others to come in and the door immediately swung open and the kids poured in. Taeyong giggled at the sight and looked down at the two in his arms with a fond smile. "I know we have some things we are going to have to talk about. " the leaders stated as he ran a hand through Lucas's hair. "But for right now I just wanna talk with you all and cuddle." He finished looking up at the others. 

The others nodded before all settled down in different parts of the room while Taeyong started the conversation about a day at the park they should have. For one second it felt like they weren't one of the biggest boy bands in Korea right now, they weren't stressed to the max over schedule of practice, they weren't in the hospital for their leader overworking himself. They where just a group of friends laughing and talking about things they should plan in the future. And to Taeyong that was the best present he could ask for. He was was with his members, he was getting the help he didn't want to admit he needed quite yet, and for this moment the voice wasn't tormenting his every thought. 

So for now Taeyong relaxed and held his members close, saving the serious talk for another day. Besides how could he focus on such depressing things when he has a lap full of Lucas (who was talking a mile a minute about a cat he had seen.) And a giggling Jungwoo. Yeah for right now his life was good. But he does wish he could lay like this forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed loves, stay healthy 💜


	8. Announcement

Hi, I know it's rather annoying when you wait for a story for a long time and the author just gives you an announcement chapter instead so I'll try to keep this short. 

I'm very sorry for not updating for a while. I have recently gotten very sick and have been in and out of the hospital. I haven't really been able to write the story but I am going to update tomorrow night. I'm sorry for the wait and hope it didn't make any of you upset. So for now I'll say see you tomorrow night and stay healthy loves 💜


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Taeyong works on getting released from the hospital once the doctors check him over and the long road to recovery is about started.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took so long, here you go loves 💜

After the others came the doctor soon after came in to meet Taeyong and talk about his diagnosis. To say the room was feeling the pressure of the tension was a huge understatement. After the doctor left everyone basically sat around not really knowing what to say or do. 

Taeyong himself felt guilty, knowing he had, in some way, caused this. He was the reason they didn't know what to do. _"yeah, you fricked up big time."_ The voice observed , sounding rather lost in thought. The reminder of the voice being there caused Taeyong to sigh. Of course it was back, it couldn't just leave him be for a little while. _"I'm here to make your life hell not to be your best friend."_ it growled, causing Taeyong to roll his eyes. He was getting real tired of this whole situation.

"Yongie?" Came Yuta's, which broke his train of thought. Taeyong immediately looked to the fellow 95 liner who was sitting on the bed beside him looking concerned.

"I'm sorry I wasn't listening, what did you say?" He asked in a quiet voice. Feeling rather stupid for not paying attention. Yuta smiled softly at that, but Taeyong could see in his eyes there was a hint of sorrow. And oh how he wished he could make sure Yuta never had to feel that sorrow again.But he can't right now, because he was the cause of it and that in itself was so ironic it hurt.

"That's ok sweet, we just wanted to know if you felt comfortable and well enough to leave." Yuta reassured, giving Taeyong a warm smile that the leader felt he didn't deserve .

"Yeah, I think going home would be lovely." He whispered as he looked over to where the kids where dozing . The sight caused Taeyong to giggle softly. Mark and Donghyuck had curled themselves around most of the sleeping dreamies, save for Jaemin who was on his phone next to them. Lucas and Jungwoo had moved to a couch over to the right of Taeyong's bed where the WayV members where also laying. Most of them seemed to be awake but Taeyong knew better, they where exhausted and where most likely inbetween awake and sleep.

"Alright, than I'll go get the discharge papers." Johnny replied as he pushed himself off the wall and stalked out of the room, shutting the door a little to hard. Taeyong winced at this, looking down at his hands in his lap.

_"Great you pissed him off. He probably doesn't think your a great leader any more, you know since you can't even take care of yourself properly. "_ the voice commented, causing Taeyong to whimper softly. It was right, Taeyong did frick up. If Johnny was mad at him than he really did screw everything up.

Taeyong didn't even realize he was crying until he felt a hand wipe a few stray tears from his face. He looked up from his hands to see Ten smiling at him. He sobbed softly and fell into Ten's chest as he pulled the elder in for a hug.

"I know you feel this is all your fault, and I know you are blaming yourself right now. But I need you to know know of us are mad at you." Ten whispered as he rubbed soothing circles into the leaders back. " Johnny is more mad at himself than anything sweets. He adores you, and you know he could never stay mad at you for long. " the younger pulled Taeyong away and held his face in his hands gently. "How about we get you home so we can curl up and watch a movie with the kids." He offered.

Taeyong smiled at the idea and nodded softly. Ten giggled at throat and turned to start gathering their stuff.

" Taeil-hyung can you wake up the kids while I help Yongie? " Ten asked as he slipped his back pack over his shoulders. Taeil nodded with a grim smile and went to work getting the kids up and getting them to look half way presentable. Ten walked back to Taeyong and slowly slid the covers down and helped the younger to sit up before grabbing his face gently again.

"Do you need a wheelchair or can you stand?" Ten asked looking to Taeyong with concern all over his face.

" I want to try to walk. " Taeyong whispered causing Ten to nod softly and grab Taeyong's hands as the elder moved to stand. Upon standing the world spun a little bit but Taeyong quickly gained his ground and stood up straight, determined to walk. However his body didn't seem to agree with his agenda because as soon as he moved to take a step forward his knees buckled. If it wasn't for Ten catching him Taeyong would have hit the floor hard.

"Alright, wheelchair it is. Sorry sweets but it's for your own good." Ten apologized as he went out into the hall to ask a nurse for one. Taeyong sat back on the bed and cursed at himself in his head for not being strong enough until he felt a pair of arms rap around him. 

"Hyung, do you think we can get take out tonigt?" Ren Jun asked as he nuzzled Taeyong's neck which caused the elder to smile. 

"How much did Donghyuck pay you to ask me? " Taeyong questioned, immediately knowing what was up. Ren Jun usually dosnt whine for anything unless one of the other kids put him up to it. And the other kids usually meant just Donghyuck.

"Five bucks" he replied with out hesitation which caused Haechan to squawk in betrayal from where he was cuddling Mark on the couch. 

"Well I'm taking my five bucks back." Donghyuck grumbled pulling Mark closer with a huff causing Taeyong to chuckle at the sight.

"Really boys bribing each other? I thought I taught you better? " Taeyong questioned raising an eyebrow at Haechan in particular. The younger winced and laughed shyly

"Sorry hyung but Mark was just to comfortable to leave." The Donghyuck justified as Mark pushed away from the younger long enough to breathe.

" Comfortable for you maybe but I was being smothered. " Mark teased pushing the other away playfully. Which caused Donghyuck to jump on him in retaliation.

Taeyong laughed softly at the sight of them before turning his attention to Ren Jun who was still hugging him from behind. The younger looked lost in thought as he rested his head on Taeyong's shoulder which caused the leader to smile.

"What are you thinking about hun?" He asked as he ran his hand through the youngers hair. Ren Jun looked apprehensive for a second before he sighed and sat beside the leader on the bed.

"I know the dreamies are young and we don't understand a lot about emotions yet and we don't really know what all you have to deal with but.... It's ok to come to us if you need to hyung. We love you a lot and it's ok to need help." The younger whispered as he played with Taeyong's fingers. 

Taeyong let out a watery laugh at that and reached up to cradle Ren Jun's face in his hands. "Damn you have grown so much." He whispered looking softly into the youngers eyes. " Thank you sweety, that helped hyung. " he whispered. Ren Jun whimpered at that and dove into Taeyong's arms with a quiet cry.

"Please don't forget you have us." The younger whispered into the leaders chest as he clutched his shirt. Taeyong hugged the younger tighter and smiled

" I won't baby, I promise. " he whispered.

"Um Taeyong...I got the wheel chair." Ten whispered . The dancer didn't really want to break the moment between the two but he really wanted them to get out of this hospital as fast as possible. Taeyong nodded and pulled away from Ren Jun and moved to stand. He was immediately helped by Ten into the wheelchair and a blanket was wrapped around him.

"How about we go home kids?" Ten questioned as he steered Taeyong towards the door. The younger let out a cheer as they all filed out of the room after the duo.

" Oh and Taeil. " Taeyong called as he grabbed the oldests hand. "Can you order some take out for us. The kids are hungry." Upon hearing this Donghyuck and Mark wooped in the back ground which caused everyone else to laugh. 

" Alright you heathens let's get Taeyong home and I'll get take out. " Taeil sighed, but Taeyong could tell it was full of fondness instead of annoyance. Which caused Taeyong to smile himself. For a moment the looming dread he felt over the talk they where going to have left and he was left with a feeling of euphoria. For right now everything was ok all he needed was his group and things would be alright. And that conclusion was ok to Taeyong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To be honest this felt like a bit of a filler chapter before we dive back into the angst. I hope you enjoyed💜


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Taeyong and the group make it home but they don't really get to rest before conflict arises again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A certain member is kind of a jerk for about two point four seconds so forgive me for that, but he'll make up for it later I promise

Once the chat got home from the hospital they certainly where feeling the tension thickening with every step they took. Specifically with Taeil, Johnny,and Taeyong who couldn't seem to make up for anything. Scratch that, Taeyong tried to apologize to Johnny multiple times which was only brushed off by the American. Taeil had also tried to get him to calm down but was glared at every time he came near the man.

Taeyong currently was sitting on the couch in their living room staring off into space as he contemplated how he had screwed up so badly. _"That's an understatement._ " Laughed the voice. _" You some how made the biggest teddy bear in your group hate you!_ " The voice cackled as it through a mini parade in his head. Taeyong sighed and brought his knees up to his chest and pulled his blanket around him tighter. Sure the group had, had fights before but usually they where solved by talking it out, but how could you talk something out when the other isn't even willing to look at Taeyong? And with one glance at the older who was glaring at his phone it wouldn't end anytime soon.

"Hyung are you ok?" Winwin whispered as he squatted down in front of Taeyong , effectively breaking his, clumsy, train of thought. Taeyong didn't even know what to say to that. Admittedly, no he wasn't ok. He was still feeling faint and sick, and the anxiety of Johnny being angry with him was only making it worse. But telling the younger would make him worry and Taeyong didn't want anymore worrying over him for a while. 

_"Are you stupid, you not wanting the to worry is exactly what got you into this situation!"_ the voice groaned. Taeyong winced at that. It had a point. Taeyong signed at the realization and shook hit head softly in response .

The younger looked surprised at the answer but quickly wiped the expression away and brought Taeyong into a hug. "Um... Ok that's alright hyung. Thank you for telling me." He whispered as he rubbed the elders back. " How about we go sit in the dining room with the others. Talking with us always seems to make you feel better. " the dancer suggested looking into Taeyong's eyes for any sign of discomfort at the idea.

"Yeah, that sounds good." Taeyong sighed softly as he leaned into Winwin slightly . Winwin laughed softly at that and grabbed the leader by the shoulders softly

"Hyung, I can't carry you in there. You gotta gimme at least a little help." Taeyong groaned at that and smiled up at the younger who rolled his eyes fondly. "Alright you big baby up you go." He sighed as he helped the older up off the couch .

Once they made their way into the kitchen the talking immediately ceased as the others looked to see who had walked in. Taeyong looked down immediately not liking the attention all on him until Jisung spoke up.

"Hyung! Come sit with us." Jisung called shoving Chenle over so there was an open spot. Taeyong giggled at the that and moved ( with the help of Angel Winwin) to the spot.

As soon as the leader sat down his lap was immediately filled with Jisung who clung to the elder like a koala.Taeyong couldn't complain however, it's had been a while since he had been able to hang out with any of the younger kids. Chenle soon followed and curled up under Taeyong's arm while nuzzling his side.

"We missed you hyung." Chenle whispered. Taeyong's heart clenched at the confession. It wasn't a deep one but the thought of any one of the kids missing him for to long hit deep for the leader. One of the bigger things Taeyong was proud of was the fact that even though they where a group of twenty one they could communicate well and keep up with each other. And since he had neglected to tell them how he was feeling he let them down. He had hurt all of them.

"I know I'm sorry baby." Taeyong apologized as he buried his head in the maknae's hair which smelled suspiciously like Taeyong's shampoo. Not really surprising in a group of twenty one, things are bound to get 'borrowed '. Anything from clothes and blankets to shampoo was up for grabs.

They stayed like that for a while before Taeil broke the silence with the sound of clearing his throat. " How are you feeling Yongie? Need pain killers or anything? " the eldest questioned. He was met with a scoff from Johnny who was still in the living room.

"Oh please he didn't seem to need anything from us earlier. " Johnny hissed, glaring at the tv now. The room seemed to chill at the venom in his tone. Yuta pushed his chair back with furry in his eyes, clearly done and ready to put Johnny in his place but Taeil stopped him. 

"Don't, just sit." He ordered before turning back to Taeyong. "Do you?" He asked as if Johnny didn't just interrupt them. It was clear to Taeyong what Taeil was doing. Johnny was angry and ready to argue but Taeil wouldn't give him the satisfaction at this point. Taeil was trying to stay level headed and not do it in front of the kids. 

"No hyung, I'm ok for now." Taeyong whispered with a soft smile to the older. Taeil nodded and sat back letting the conversation slowly continue. The kids where more hesitant at this point not wanting to say anything that would cause a fight between the elders. 

"What did you order food take out hyung?" Hendery asked Taeil as carefully eyes Johnny out the corner of his eye. 

"Just the usual. Is pizza good for everyone?" Taeil asked as he glanced around the table . He was met with enthusiastic more and smiles. "Alright than that's a relief." He laughed.

"Hyung, you feel a bit warm." Chenle whispered to Taeyong . The leader cursed softly in his head. Why did his body choose now to act up?

"Alright honey, can you you to get the fever reducers? " he whispered back. Chenle nodded instantly and scampered off into the living room. Jaehyun turned to Taeyong, having seen Chenle run off, and gave him a questioning look.

"Just a small fever." He mouthed to the singer. Jaehyun nodded and turned his attention back to the conversation and all was fine until he heard a loud laugh.

"Are you kidding me!" Johnny called from in the living room. The American walked into the room with the fever reducers in hand and Chenle following closely behind looking quite guilty. "Are you still trying to hide that your sick." Johnny accused glaring at the leader.

" Johnny calm down, that's not what he was trying to do. " Jaehyun tried to intervene which was met with a growl from johnny. 

"I didn't ask you did i?" Johnny growled at the younger before turning to Taeyong . "How long are you going to keep doing this. Your not invincible!" Johnny yelled throwing the pills into the table. 

" I'm not trying to hide anything Johnny. " Taeyong whispered looking down at pills that where now scattered across the table.

"Bull crap! When will this end!" He argued as he glared holes into the leader.

"Stop yelling it won't get us any where. " Taeyong tried to calm the elder down but it only see me to fuel his rage.

"What else am I supposed to do! Talking and begging you to stop won't work. We already tried and look what happened!" Johnny was right ,nothing really got through to Taeyong but the yelling was scaring the kids.

"Dreamies, Wayv go to your rooms. " Taeyong ordered softly as he moved to let Jisung down out of his lap.

"On please, stop trying to divert this away from you." Johnny groaned .

"I'm not diverting anything, I just want the kids away before you scare them more." Taeyong grumbled almost to the end of his rope of patients . The dreamies and WayV members hesitated before getting up and slowly making their way into their rooms leaving the room in silence once they where gone.

"I can't believe your still doing this. Was passing out not enough!" Johnny continued making motion towards the pills on the table. "You are ignoring your own health for what benefit, do you honestly think this will help you!" The elder questioned shooting daggers at the rapper with his eyes. 

"No I just-" Taeyong tried

"Than why? Tell me why!" Johnny interrupted

" I just can't tell-" Taeyong tried but quickly interrupted again leaving him close to tears

"That isn't an answer! Tell us straight up!" Johnny ordered

"I'M NOT GOOD ENOUGH!" The leader shouted as he slammed his hands on the table and stood up shocking Johnny into silence. "I'm the leader and face off the group but I have no actual skills! I can dance but not as good as the others Jaehyun and Yuta can hold my place down just fine. I can rap but Mark and even Ten can do that better than me. All I have is my face and even that won't hold me out for long!" Taeyong screamed leaving everyone in the room speechless 

"I can't do it anymore i don't want to! I'm useless to the group, I don't contribute anything at all, so why the hell am I still here?! I don't deserve to be the leader, all I do is bring more problems!" Taeyong cried out as tears pored down his cheeks and his frustration built. "I tried to get better I really did! I stayed out to practice and I ate less in hopes of being skinny enough to be handsome again but I can't even do that right! I'm just a failure." The leader sighed brokenly before turning to Johnny again. " Is that what you wanted to hear Johnny? Because there it is." Taeyong called looking at the elder right in the eyes before letting out a hollow laugh that sent chills through everyone's bodies.

"I don't know what else you want from me. I already gave you all I have. " Taeyong whispered not really looking like he was talking to them anymore. "I tried I really did." He said under his breathe before pushing himself away from the table clumsily. 

"Hyung you should sit down." Jaehyun called immediately getting up to follow the leader. Taeyong just shoved him off as he continued to stumble his way to the hall only to trip and fall forward . He was swiftly caught by Johnny who was staring at the leader in horror.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." Taeyong sobbed as he clutched onto Johnny's shirt. " Please don't hate me. " he begged as his breathing became eradic.

"No, no sweets please don't think that, we-i don't hate you." Johnny immediately countered as he pulled the younger up to look at him. But when he looked into the leaders eyes he could clearly see he wasn't all there. " Baby, Yongie look at me. " Johnny called. No response. "Crap ok, Taeil-hyung go get his bed ready and make sure no one is in there. "

The elder nodded and ran off down the hall. "What's happening?!" Jaehyun questioned as he clutched onto the leaders hand. The fear in his voice clutched at Johnny's heart because he was the cause of this. He's could have kept his mouth shut an been understanding but he let his sorry and anger get the better of him. But now was no time to throw a pity party, Taeyong needed them.

"He's gonna faint. Yuta I need you to help me get him into his room." Johnny ordered as he slid his hands under Taeyong's armpits and lifted him up. Yuta grabbed Taeyong's legs and sent Johnny a quick glare that said he was surely going to yell at him later and also lifted him up.

"You're okay Yongie, I'm sorry. We'll fix this I promise. " Johnny whispered as he kissed the leaders head. Please to every deity out there let them be able to fix this Johnny silently prayed as they moved quickly to Taeyong's room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oof that was rough to write. Anyone need a tissue after reading that cause I do.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ten, Kun, and Doyoung take care of Taeyong while Johnny, Yuta, Taeil, and Jaehyun talk in the living room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know how I feel about this chapter but here you all go, enjoy and stay healthy loves 💜

Once Johnny and Yuta sat Taeyong down on his bed they where immediately pushed to the side by Kun and Doyoung who immediately started checking over the leader. Johnny didn't known what to do, the guilt he felt was crushing. So many things where flying through his head as he looked at the prone leader laying on the bed. Why didn't he come to them if he was feeling this way? Why couldn't he have been more understanding when Taeyong was clearly struggling. Oh how stupid he was, he screwed up.

"Kun go get me some ibuprofen and some water please." Doyoung asked softly as he lifted Taeyong's head slightly to slip a pillow under it. The leader looked so pale and small . How had they not noticed he was slowly becoming like this? The thought of Taeyong suffering like he clearly was lit a protective fire in Doyoung. Many fans believed they never got along because they where constantly bickering but Doyoung knew that wasn't true. Taeyong was one of the only people in the group he trusted with his real feelings, always to scared to break in front of anyone else. But now that Doyoung was staring down at Taeyong he realized he had never returned the favor. Taeyong was scared to break for anyone as well but no one was there to catch him like Taeyong was for Doyoung.

Doyoung chocked back a couple of tears as he pulled a blanket over the shivering rappers body. He should have noticed, he should have helped some how. Was all he could think when Kun came back in with the ibuprofen and sat them down on the table. 

"Hyung how about you lay with him for a little while, me and Kun can take care of him." Ten suggested, seeing that Doyoung wasn't emotionally ready to take care of the elder. Ten knew what was going on, it was hard not to when pretty much everyone heard Taeyong's screamed confession . The sound of agony in Taeyong's voice stuck itself in the back of Ten's mind and replayed over and over again. Taeyong had almost sounded like he was pleading for them to understand and help him and that enraged Ten. 

The dancer turned to find Johnny still looking at Taeyong with guilt overflowing in his eyes. Ten immediately told Kun to go get some cold washcloths and to watch over Taeyong for a bit before marching over to Johnny to drag him into the hall. He was instantly followed by Yuta, Taeil, and Jaehyun who didn't look to pleased themselves. Once the door closed to Taeyong's room the war started.

"What the hell is wrong with you!" Ten hissed shoving Johnny slightly. The elder didn't seem surprised at the push, he just looked at the ground. " That is our leader in there laying on that bed passed out! He has given every thing for this group and you repay him by yelling at him! " Ten growled walking right up to Johnny and grabbing him by the shirt so he would look at him.

"Ten calm down." Taeil sighed pulling then other back softly.

" No I think Ten is justified in what he is saying. " Yuta replied from where he was leaning against the wall. "Taeyong is feeling insecure which means everything he does , no matter what, isn't good enough in his eyes. So imagine getting yelled at for trying to be better for your own group by your own hyung who is _usually_ so calm and kind! " Yuta chuckled darkly. "Suh you better explain yourself quick." He growled as if he was ready to rip Johnny apart if the elder said one wrong word.

" I- I cant, I have no excuses. " he whispered which caused Ten to scoff. 

"You know what I'm not gonna waste my time out here with half assed answers like that when our leader, _our friend_ , needs me in there." Ten sighed as he walked to the door. "You guys straighten this out come back when your ready." Ten told Jaehyun before he walked in and shut the door.

" Everything ok out there? " Kun asked as he dabbed Taeyong's forehead with a washcloth. To be honest he heard everything but any conversation was better than the deafening silence in this room.

"Not really but their working it out." Ten sighed out as he walked over to the bed and sat down. The sight of Doyoung wrapped around Taeyong in a hug on any other day would have been adorable and blackmail material but now it just made Ten want to cry.

"That's good, don't want this to affect the team." Kun mumbled as he wiped down the dried tear track on Taeyong's face. "Hyung how are you feeling?" The WayV leader asked as he glanced over to Doyoung. The elder didn't move for a solid minute before he shakily sighed.

"He was in so much pain for so long." He whispered which broke their hearts. " How terrible are we that we didn't notice it? " he questioned as he buried his face in Taeyong's chest. That was a question everyone had been asking themselves recently. Why hadn't they noticed? 

"No hyung don't say that." Ten stated trapping the singer's hand. " the fact of the matter is Yongie didn't want us to know. He hid it well, there is no way we where supposed to know unless we where really looking. " Ten reassured sounding like he was trying to convince himself more than Doyoung. 

"Hyung was always good at hiding his true feelings." Kun agreed as he will smiled fondly down at Taeyong before looking at Ten.

"Do you think they'll work it out, out there?" He asked nodding to the door .

"I do, I think Johnny just messed up bad. I think he realizes what he did." He replied .

"Weren't you just going all mama bear on him out side the door? " Doyoung grumbled from where he was leaning with his face pressed into Taeyong's chest. Ten through a pillow at the older which caused Kun to laugh.

"I was but I'm calm now. And he deserved it... just a little. " Ten grumbled, pouting slightly when Doyoung stuck his tongue out at him. To be honest he wasn't sure how things where gonna go out there. It was honestly a toss of the coin for what was going to happen.

  
Things where not going well in the living room. To be fair they had tried to talk things out but it was clear some people *cough* Yuta *Cough* where to angry to hold a conversation for long. Every time Johnny so much as said one word Yuta didn't like the Japanese male filled his load. So now they say in silence looking at each other waiting for someone to say something.

"Look, I know I messed up. You all don't need to tell me that." Johnny sighed as he played with the ring on his finger. It was a silver band that had the number 95 engraved in it. Taeyong had got them for Yuta, himself, and Johnny on Johnny's birthday last year. The memory brought tears to his eyes. "I acted out wrongly. I should have been more understanding with him. I was just so worried and angry that he didn't come to us. " the elder whispered.

"Johnny we where all worried, but this can't happen again. We need to be patient with him." Taeil replied as he glared at Yuta to keep his mouth shut . The younger only huffed and sat back still slightly pissed.

"I don't know why I did it." Johnny replied sounding defeated . "I only made it worse for him. Damn he's probably scared of me now. " Johnny whispered brokenly as he slowly started to realize the severity of the situation. 

"Hyung I'm sure he will forgive you if you just ask. We're not here to make you feel bad we just need to make sure things like this don't happen anymore." Jaehyun stated as he tried to get the elders attention . Johnny just shook his head and let out a watery laugh.

"Why should he, I was so terrible to him." Johnny questioned .

"Ok that's it." Yuta grumbled, getting up and marching up to Johnny . Johnny flinched ready to get a punch or even a slap but was surprised when all he felt was a hand cup his face. He's opened his eyes to see Yuta squatting down in front of him still looking just as pissed but there was a hint of sadness in his eyes.

"Look, Johnny you screwed up big time." He sighed out as he grabbed a hold of the elders hand. " You yelled at him when you shouldn't have and he had a panic attack because of it. " he stated causing Johnny to whimper at the bluntness. "You did all of those things and you have to own up to them. you can't change what you did but you can try to fix it instead of moping around." 

Johnny sat in awe at Yuta's words. The other seemed to understand his shock and chuckled before standing up. "Don't misunderstand me, I'm still royally pissed at you. But fighting won't help Yongie. He needs us and we can't help him if we are in here bickering." The dancer stated as he pulled the American up. " you're going to be the first one he sees when he wakes up so you can beg him to forgive you. And knowing Yong he will. "

Johnny laughed sadly before pulling Yuta into a tight hug. "I'm sorry" he whispered as he pulled away. Yuta smiled and shook his head

"Don't apologize to me do it to Yongie." Johnny nodded and turned to Taeil and Jaehyun who where standing and smiling at them. 

"How about me to see if we can get into Taeyong's room with out getting mauled by mother bear Ten." Jaehyun sighed , sounding not excited at all as he walked to the hall. "Johnny gets mauled first if that's the case." He called causing Taeil and Yuta to cackle . Johnny just shook his head and looked back down at his ring. Yeah he would fix this, even if Taeyong won't forgive him. He'll find a way to make it right. 


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Taeyong wakes up and it's time to have a little discussions about Johnny telling at him and Taeyong's insecurities

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you all enjoy stay healthy loves💜

Once Taeyong opened his eyes he immediately knew something wasn't right. The room was dark with no light except for the lamp on his bed side. Had he slept through his alarm? But with one look to the side of his bed he could clearly see that wasn't the case. Sitting in a chair by his bed side with his face resting on Taeyong's bed, asleep, was Johnny. As Taeyong smiled at the cute position the elder was in the memories of how he got here came rushing back.

Johnny yelling at him, him shoving Jaehyun away, him blacking out. Crap he had really done it now. Why would they want a leader that can't even be yelled at without fainting as their head and face. He would surly be kicked out now. The thought brought tears to his eyes as he scanned the room. Ten and Jaehyun where laying on his couch across the room, and Doyoung was laying to his left curled up in one Taeyong's favorite blankets,which was also adorable but the overwhelming anxiety he was feeling over took that feeling. As softly as he could, he removed his covers and scooted his way out of bed, careful to not shake Johnny awake.

Quickly the leader made his way across the room and out the door. Better if he is up and awake when they come to kick him out. Don't want to make it harder for them. Taeyong snuck his way down the hall and to the kitchen where he heard talking. Crap who was up at this hour?

"Taeil hyung do you think Taeyong hyung will like this?" Taeyong heard Qun ask as he heard the oven open and Yang Yang squeal in joy. What?

" Taeyong always enjoys whatever you guys make for him. Don't worry cub. " Taeil's soothing voice responded with a hint of amusement. Taeyong couldn't deny that the thought of any of the younger kids making him anything made him feel lighter than the seemingly ten ton weight of anxiety did. The leader smiled at the thought but jumped when a thump sounded from the hallway and Taeyong's door slammed open.

"TAEIL WHERE IS TAEYO-oh thank the lord your right here. " Yuta's raspy voice called as he immediately calmed once he was Taeyong standing by the kitchen door. "Yongie, baby come back to bed you don't need to be up." The Japanese male cooed as he pulled the leader by the hand back to the room. " Sorry Taeil hyung, false alram! " Yuta called out the door as he shut it with his foot.

The inside of the room was much more lively this time. Everyone seemed to be awake, save for Doyoung who seemed to be only half way there, and where sat up. Taeyong felt shy under the attention that was suddenly on him when Yuta brought him in.

"Yongie come lay with me again, your warm." Doyoung called as he made grabby hands. Taeyong only giggled lightly and crawled into bed next to the other who cheered softly before latching onto Taeyong like a octopus . Taeyong only signed in content maybe if he stayed here with Doyoung and slept he wouldn't have to deal with getting kicked out. Yeah that sounds great. No yelling no fighting, just cuddles.

"Taeyong, how are you feeling sweets?" Johnny's voice cut through his thoughts. Wait why did he care? Wasn't he upset with him? Taeyong opened his eyes and turned to look at Johnny's face for any signs of anger or disgust but only concern showed.

" I-im feeling a little better. " Taeyong stuttered out, not wanting to set the elder off. He wanted to keep Johnny happy, he liked this version better than angry johnny. The elder reached up and grabbed Taeyong's hand gently and sighed. Oh crap here it comes he's gonna kick him out.

"Before you say it I'm sorry." Taeyong interrupted not wanting the elder to say what he was dreading to hear. " I'm sorry I did it, I'll take better care of myself. Please don't kick me out. I'll be a better leader I swear." Taeyong begged as gripped Johnny's hand like he would yank it away any second. 

The room immediately froze and tension hung heavy in the air. Now he had done it, he is so pathetic that he would beg to stay. Doyoung's arms tightened around him as the tried to get up and escape. 

"Taeyong, kitten, no we aren't going to kick you out." Johnny stuttered immediately grabbing Taeyong's hands again, trying to get the rapper to look at him. Taeyong only whimpered and hid his face in Doyoung's shoulder . "Kitten, we were never going to kick you out. I just wanted to apologize." Johnny tried again as he grabbed Taeyong's face softly. Taeyong immediately stopped struggling at that and peaked at Johnny from where his face was buried in Doyoung's shoulder.

"You what?" Taeyong whispered. Almost as if the very thought of Johnny having done anything wrong in this situation was unbelievable .

"I want to apologize. Kitten you didn't do anything wrong. I lost my temper, I crossed the line by yelling at you. It was me who did something wrong not you sweets." Johnny replied wiping Taeyong's silent tears with his thumbs. 

Taeyong shook his head softly and whimpered. Why did they have to be so great. He messed up terribly and they still want him as their leader? How is it possible that he got such great group mates.

" Please believe him Yongie. " Doyoung whispered as he hugged the elder to his chest. "We love you babe, we would never kick you out. Especially if you didn't do anything wrong."

Taeyong couldn't believe that they didn't want to kick him out. It almost sounded to good to be true. The rapper looked to the others in the room and each carried the same serious expression as the other two did. Maybe they were telling the truth, but this still didn't make any sense, why would Johnny apologize? He didn't do anything wrong either.

"But Johnny you didn't do anything wrong either." Taeyong whispered as he stared down at their intertwined fingers and played with the ring he had got Johnny, Yuta, and him self. Yes heard a hiss across the room as a hand slid under his chin and made him look up at Johnny.

"Kitten, do you really believe that?" Johnny asked , his voice barely above a whisper. 

One look around the room told Taeyong immediately that he had said something wrong. The distraught and upset faces each member carried stabbed Taeyong painfully in the chest. What did he say wrong?

"I mean...Yeah. " Taeyong spoke softly as he looked back down to resume playing with Johnny's ring. "I haven't exactly been the best leader lately, and I can't even take being yelled at without fainting. So yeah I don't exactly think it was unjustified for him to be upset at me. " Taeyong confessed wincing when no one spoke for a while. Why does he keep making them upset? He should be thankful that they even keep him around. Taeyong sighed and frowned at the thoughts. Why had the deprecating voice become more and more like his own lately?

"Taeyong, no, that isn't at all what he should have done." Ten spoke up suddenly, sounding slightly angry. "your messed up right now kitten. you think you deserved it but you dont. What Johnny did was so wrong." The dancer sounded as if he was almost begging the leader to understand.

"But he really didn-" Taeyong tried to say before Ten cut him off.

"If he had yelled at Jisung, or Run Jun, or Lucas like that would you say they deserved it as well?" Ten questioned, not leaving any room for Taeyong to disagree.

Taeyong shook his head softly and whimpered softly. Crap why are they so good at disagreeing with him. He heard Ten with quietly before he was suddenly pulled into the dancers chest.

"Baby what your feeling right now is bad. you aren't what that voice tells you, you are. Your just a little bent right now but that's ok cause bent things can be fixed." Ten whispered softly before stopping short. " Not that you need to be fixed kitten, it's just... you know what ever, your perfect, and we love you, and it's ok to feel this way right now because we're going to help you feel better. " Taeyong laughed wetly as the dancer stuttered through his sentence and hugged him closer.

"I'm sorry I'm this way." He whispered as he clutched onto Tens shirt tightly.

" Don't ever be sorry for needing help sweets. " Yuta replied as he joined the hug.

"Alright let's not turn this into a cheesy group hug, I'm hungry." Doyoung grumbled from where he was still back hugging Taeyong . 

"To late!" Johnny called as he pulled Jaehyun with himself into the but as well. Taeyong laughed at the displeased sound Doyoung made as Jaehyun squished him into Taeyong's back.

"I hate you all." Doyoung grumbled as he buried his face into Taeyong's neck.

" Awww what happened to cuddly Doyoung. " Johnny teased which earned him a smack from said vocalist.

"He left when you started getting cheesy." Doyoung hissed which caused Taeyong to laugh loudly . The others smiled at that. They hadn't heard their leader laugh like that in a long time, they missed it. It was worth annoying Doyoung a little to hear it again.

"Alright kids let's get up." Johnny announced as he pried Ten away from Taeyong . "I heard the kids where making you something and I'm sure they wanna see you." Johnny informed as he pulled the leader up. Taeyong screeched when he was immediately sweeped off his feet and into Johnny's arm's.

"Johnny put me down! " Taeyong squeaked as he rapped his arms around Johnny's neck.

"No can do kitten. Now onward to the kitchen!" Johnny called , marching out of the room with Taeyong cackling along. Yeah maybe he was a little bent. He could admit that but its hard to really care when he has got group mates like these that help him. They love him, and that is something he will never doubt.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On the road to recovery there are a few bumps, but that is all they are just bumps. They will be smoothed out with the help of the group and they will start back on the road again.

The hard trail to recovery was one filled with many set backs for Taeyong. Anything from one hard day to one side comment from an anti sent him back into a reeling well of self destructive tendencies.

The group had been a blessing for the leader, always there to make him feel better whether it be cuddles on the couch with a movie, baking at 3 in the morning to relieve stress, or just impulsively sneaking out to get a breathe of fresh air away from the suffocating depressive state his room left him in. This is not to say though that he still didn't try to hide his feelings from the others, what can he say? Old habits die hard.

Especially now as he sat on his bed, wrapped in a stitched together blankets the dreamies had made him, scrolling through twitter. It was around 12:30 in the morning, the sun had long gone down and you could definitely say Taeyong's demons came out to play. The leader was currently scrolling through a anti's page and reading all of the comments about what they didn't like about his group. Most he just scoffed at, like the thought of Ten not being a good singer, or that WayV isn't even apart of Nct ( he'd like to see someone say that to his face, no one was taking his boys away anytime soon). But he couldn't help but notice that most of them where pointed at him.

_"Holy crap! Some people actually think that Taeyong is a good leader!? With how many scandals and problems that boy has following him around I'm surprised he is still the leader. Johnny would have been a better one. Anyways Stan WayV, which has and un-problematic leader_ 😂" The anti wrote in her latest tweet, which went chills down Taeyong's spine. Was he really that bad, did his scandals cause that much misery to his fans?

He scrolled some more through the endless ocean of tweets they had. Tweet after tweet he read, falling more and more down the rabbit hole. It felt almost addicting in a sense of once he started he couldn't stop. 

_"This one girl tried to argue with me that Kun isn't a better leader than Taeyong_ 😂. _Like honey please, Taeyong is a problematic mess up that disguises himself as the best thing to hit KPOP. The way SM kisses the ground he walks on for having "anime like features" is almost laughable . Can't wait for people to wake up and see that Taeyong isn't worth the trouble he causes and start stanning the better version of Nct, WayV. "_ Taeyong didn't even realize he was crying until his fear drops dropped off his cheek an splashed into his screen. 

Why had he let the others convince him he was a good leader?! It was all coming back to Taeyong now, the sheer amount of times they had to shorten practice because of Taeyong's long lasting neck and waist injury, the amount of times he got all the lines and left little for his members, or the times he was praised for every little thing he did while his members had to watch on in envy. All the problems he causes on the daily.

_"They are right you know? Johnny would have been a better leader. "_ He heard a dark voice snicker. Oh great it's back. Taeyong mentally rolled his eyes as he turned of his phone and pulled the blanket fighter around himself. _"Am I wrong through? Nct could have made it faster to America and he would have blown through the interviews and award shows with a breeze. Hell the kids already look up to him more than they do you."_ The deep voice chuckled almost as if reminiscing on good times. Taeyong paused at that, not having a comeback for that. _"What? You believe me this time? I'm not that hard to believe Taeyong, the Twitter anti said it perfectly,you have to many scandals and problems following you to ever push Nct forward in life. "_

Something in Taeyong snapped at those words. The leader immediately stood up and began pacing the room, while doing the breathing exercises Lucas had so helpfully taught him. This was just his head messing with him, it would pass in time. All of this was temporary. 

Sensing that the panic wouldn't end soon the leader grabbed his blanket and carefully opened his door and walked to the kitchen. Baking always helped him calm down and refocus on the present. Taeyong loved cooking and so when one night Yuta showed up to Taeyong's room with arms full of cooking materials and a determined face a new idea of how to stay calm was born. It became a thing the two did together every so often, a bonding experience that usually went with out talking.

Taeyong sat his blanket on the counter and began bringing out the ingredients for baking, tonight he was thinking brownies. Easy to make so he didn't overwork himself and just enough to distract him from his problems.

The leader began mixing his ingredients together and fell into the rhythm he usually does at this time of night, so much so that he didn't hear the sort pad of footsteps entering the kitchen accompanied by a soft sigh of relief.

Yuta leaned up against the door frame and stared at Taeyong with fondness. Yuta was overjoyed that the leader had taken to his idea of baking but he's gonna have a heart attack if he keeps waking up to Taeyong not in bed at three in the morning every night. Yuta had always had trouble with getting close with people but with Taeyong it was a troubling feeling. He felt so close but so far away at the same time. Every time the elder would have his breakdowns of panic attacks Yuta never knew how to deal with it. So when the idea of baking cake along he pounded immediately and is so happy he did.

The Japanese male slid behind Taeyong and hopped up on the counter with a little smile. He watched Taeyong for a few minutes, admiring the elders face as he worked on his batter. Yuta always felt envy over the way Taeyong could throw himself completely into his work sometimes, so much so that he would hold his breathe for long periods of time while working. Yuta shook his thoughts away and rested his head in the palm of his hand with a smirk.

"Thoughts again?" Yuta asked, chuckling at the way Taeyong squeaked and jumped, accidentally spilling some batter on the floor in the process. Taeyong turned to the younger and gave him and exasperated look, which only caused the younger to chuckle more.

"Yeah, just a little anxious." Taeyong replied hesitantly . Yuta shook his head gently at that, no matter how many times they Taeyong he isn't a burden the boy can't seem to get it through his head. The dancer hopped off the counter with a paper towel in hand and gave it to Taeyong.

"What's your number?" Yuta questioned not really wanting too know the answer himself.Taeyong paused as he was wiping up the batter and seemed to ponder the question for a second before fighting himself and leaned against the counter with a sigh.

"Around a 5 or 6." The leader replied as he ran a hand through his hair. Yuta winced in sympathy and trapped the elders hand in comfort. You see shortly after Taeyong had gotten out of the hospital, Ten and Taeil came up with a number system for Taeyong to rate his anxiety on. 1-4 was I'm a bit anxious but nothing to serious, 5-7 was I need a cuddle, a movie, and a quiet house, and 8-10 was I need to be in a safer place away from here with one other person (usually Johnny or Yuta)

Yuta was very thankful for the system the two had created because they could modify it for anyone, such as when Kun gets to stressed with leading WayV and dosnt know how to say he needs help.

"Welp you're still in the cuddle range so let's go." The male encouraged as he grabbed Taeyong's blanket off the counter and Taeyong's hand and dragged him into the living room. Taeyong giggled in delight as Yuta wrapped him in the blanket and pulled him down onto the couch with him. 

"I can't treasure, the brownies." Taeyong laughed in fondness. He tried to get up but Yuta's strong arms weren't relenting. The younger seemed to have frozen. "Yuta?" Taeyong asked as he turned to look down at the younger.

The dancer had tears in his eyes and he had a small,cracked, smile on his face. Taeyong's Leader sirens immediately went off and he dropped to his knees beside the younger.

"Treasure, what's wrong?! What happened!?" He questioned frantically not wanting to be the reason Yuta was crying. 

Yuta just shook his head with a watery laugh and buried his head in Taeyong's shoulder . "You just...you haven't called me that in a while." Yuta whispered clutching harder into Taeyong, almost as if he would disappear if he let go.

Taeyong froze at those words. Had it really been that long since he had called him that. Oh no he must have been feeling so terrible. " _What if he thought you didn't love him enough for the name anymore!?_ " the voice sounded unusually panicked by the thought which caused Taeyong to panic as well.

"Yuta, baby I'm sorry." Taeyong whispered cupping the youngers face softly. Taeyong looked into Yuta's eyes expecting to see anguish but felt the wind get knocked out of him at the look of pure love in the other males eyes.

Yuta tackled the leader to the floor in a hug which caused Taeyong to laugh loudly. "Shut up, dont ever be sorry. Just...just stay here for a while." Yuta whispered quietly as he snuggled his nose into Taeyong's neck.

So the two makes laid on the floor , half covered by the blanket, with large grins on their faces as they snuggled. The world could be a cruel and unforgiving place but when your in the arms of the ones you love it's hard to pay any lick of attention to the outside world.

"I do need to get up treasure, before the brownies burn."

"Mhm, just another minute though."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back! I know I've been gone for a while and part of that has been mostly because I went on a impromptu vacation with my family to a place that has crappy wifi, but the other part is that I was diagnosed with major depression and anxiety recently and it kind of through for a loop.   
> I already had a feeling I had it but the diagnosis and the new medicine made it all the more real for me, so I freaked out for a while and couldn't bring myself to get out of bed let alone post. But I'm feeling way better now so no worries.  
> So if you have any questions loves I'll be happy to answer them in the comments and thank you for being so patient. Stay healthy 💜


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We start with a normal day for Nct as they go about their schedules, but a certain problem arises and the hyungs aren't there to help, so now will the dreamies react when their leader needs them the most?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oof this was hard to write, I feel bad for Taeyong,no fear though the dreamies are their to help. (Also I still count Mark as part of the dreamies so he will be here too)

It was early February when Nct started preparing for their new comeback. Tensions where high but overall they all where excited for this comeback. They worked hard on their new song and it came out perfect to them. So it was time to start practicing and promotions for the comeback.

On this morning we fined Taeyong at the stove cooking breakfast for the, still sleeping, members in quiet. The leader was humming quietly to himself as he swayed side to side in content. Taeyong was rather proud of himself, last night he had gotten a full night of sleep with out thinking of anything remotely bad and woke up on time as well. Not to brag but he was feeling pretty victorious at this moment.

It had been a while since the leader was able to wake up and be at full energy without his injuries or anxiety acting up. So in his book this was a major win for the morning. "Baby steps and small victories" was what Taeil liked to call them which always made Taeyong smile.

"What's for breakfast?" Yang Yang questioned softly,his voice a little scratchy for no use, as he shuffled into the kitchen. Taeyong couldn't help but smile at the image. Yang Yang hadn't exactly been comfortable in the group when he first joined, he often found it difficult to know what his set role was. But now seeing him walk around in Johnny's hoodie with no shyness about him made Taeyong do a small victory dance in his head.

"Got some eggs and bacon." The elder replied ruffling the youngers hair slightly, much to the Chinese members dismay. 

" Do we have any orange juice to go with it?" Donghyuck questioned as he waltzed in while drying his hair with a towel . Taeyong chuckled and shook his head softly at the younger before nodding. Donghyuck whooped in victory and made his way to the cabinets to get some plates.

"Yang Yang, baby will you go wake the others. We have a lot of work to do today." Taeyong requested as he flipped a piece of bacon. Yang Yang blushed lightly at the nickname before clearing his throat and ran off to do what was asked.

Donghyuck made the sound of a whip cracking and cackled loudly. "Jeez hyung you got everyone wrapped around your finger." The younger observed as he watched Yang Yang run to each room to get the members. Taeyong shook his head in amusement and put a few pieces of bacon on the plate Donghyuck had given him.

"Nope, sorry Hyuck that's Johnny and Ten." Taeyong denied with a short laugh. Donghyuck only rolled his eyes at the answer and moved to place the plates on the table. 

Slowly, little by little, the members trickled in, in all of their sleepy glory,and say in their spots. Taeyong server them their food and then him self say down with his paper work for the day and began eating his own breakfast.

"So, oh mighty leader, what's on the list for today?" Doyoung asked as he swatted Lucas's hand away for trying to steal some bacon. Taeyong hummed in thought for a moment as he tried to gather everyone's schedules in his mind. Truthfully this wasn't a head day but they where getting separated for a lengthy amount of time, which two didn't like.

"Well 127 will be practicing, dreamies you will be going to vocal sessions, and WayV you have a music video shoot today." Taeyong replied as he flipped through the papers to make sure he didn't miss anything. He answer was met with a chorus of groans which caused the leader to laugh. " Come on guys it isn't that bad. Let's go we have somewhat of an easy day today, and when we get back how about we have a movie night? " Taeyong questioned which was met with bright smiles and enthusiastic yells of yes. Before the leader could blink most of the table was gone in a flash, off to get ready. The only person left behind was Donghyuck as he, once again, made a whipping noise and winked at the leader with a smirk.

Taeyong only rolled his eyes, with a small smile, and motioned for the younger go follow the others. As the younger left Taeyong cleaned the stove and counters, placed all the dishes in the sink to be washed later, than proceeded to follow the others to get ready as well.

* * *

"Alright, one more time guys and we can take a break." Taeyong called as the members all groaned in exhaustion. The group had been practicing most of the day and to say they where exhausted was a gross understatement. Truthfully they had the choreography down pat, but the judging looks the choreographer kept sending Taeyong's way, kept the leader from letting his members have a break.

So the members all got into position once more and began their dance once again. Honestly at this point the leader was only using his muscle memory, knowing that it was just as impeccable as his usual dancing. Going over it this many times was almost ridiculous, and this was one of the few times Taeyong,as the leader, couldn't speak up for his members. The company often trusted their employees more than the actual idols so if the choreographer wanted to be could make it look like they just wouldn't practice at all.

"Alright, you guys can take a break for now." The choreographer , Taehyun,Taeyong thinks his name was, called out looking quite pleased with himself. Taeyong only rolled his eyes and moved to his bag to get his water bottle. "Not you Taeyong, I need you to go get the dreamies. They need some adjustments for their newest dance." Taehyun stated as he handed the leader some papers . 

"Yes hyung-nim." Taeyong replied with a tight lipped smile. The choreographer nodded and walked out of the room with a pep in his step. Oh what Taeyong wouldn't give to put the choreographer through the same torture he put them through every dance practice , if only to wipe that stupid smile off his face. But he knows that day will probably never come so he busied himself with packing his stuff up.

"Hyung where are you going?" Yuta questioned as he opened his second water bottle .

"Hyung-nim wants me to go get the dreamies so he can fix their choreography." Taeyong replied as he though his bag over his shoulder with a sigh. Yuta nodded and signed softly.

" Be caerfull, I'll tell the others where you went. "The Japanese male replied as he gave the leader a side hug. Taeyong nodded and walked out the practice room to make his long track to the vocal studio six floors up. Dear Lord he hated this building and it's weird floor plans. but instead of focusing on his overall annoyance with SM, Taeyong slipped his head phones in and decided to take the stairs in hopes of not running into any other employees who need something from him.

Although it seemed life laughed at the very thought of the sentiment because as soon as he made it to the fifth floor, going on sixth, thee vocal instructor who seemed to hate Taeyong's guts walked through the door. It's not like Taeyong hated her (even though he really should) but she was never really pleasant to be around and Taeyong was tired.

"Taeyong-ah why aren't you practicing? " she replied in a sickeningly sweet voice. The leader obviously new she was faking it but wanted to get this over with.

"Sorry Noona, choreographer-nim wanted me to get the dreamies." The rapper replied looking to the ground. The voice instructor, Mina, clicked her tongue in annoyance and grabbed him by the arm harshly. Taeyong flinched as he nails dug into his bicep with the force she used.

"Yongie, I swear!" She signed in annoyance as she grabbed his chin and made him look at her. " How many times have I told you to stand straight and tall when talking?! Dear Lord how Ceo-nim decided to pick you as the leader is a mystery I will never be able to solve. " she berated as she moved to make the leader straighten his shoulders and back. "Act like you have a back bone Taeyong jeez." 

" Yes Noona, sorry Noona. " Taeyong replied quickly, bowing to her for extra measure knowing she likes being shown 'respect '. Taeyong heard her sigh before she grabbed his hand in her tight grip and dragged him up the stairs, out the door, and onto the sixth floor. 

Through this whole ordeal Taeyong could feel his anxiety rising. He didn't like anyone touching him but his members and his family. Anyone else meant rough pulls and harsh words. Yeah he didn't like touching and Mina touching him right now was sending him over the edge. 

Sirens where blaring in the leaders head as she continued to pull harshly on his hand as she lead them down the hall. Taeyong wanted nothing more than to pull his hand away and curl up in a ball with his favorite blanket and his members. Nothing bad happens with his members but with them gone he felt naked and exposed.

"Dreamies I brought Yongie!" She called in fake cheer as she through open the vocal room door. The members seemed to light up at the sound of their leaders name but immediately the cheer left when they saw Taeyong himself . The male was cowering in Mina's strong grip. He looked about two seconds away from having a panic attack or fainting and this infuriated the dreamies.

"Uhhh thanks Noona, that was very kind of you." Mark thanked her with a weary smile as he held out his hand for Taeyong. Mina smiled at that and let the leader go. Taeyong immediately latched onto Mark's hand and practically speed walked away from the vocal coach

"No need to thank me, just making sure he got here safe, right Yongie?" She questioned looking at Taeyong with venom in her eyes. The leader nodded quickly and bowed slightly.

" Thank you Noona, for bringing me. " Taeyong responded almost automatically which set off a major warning bell in the dreamies minds. Mina only nodded with a fake smile and turned to the leave.

"Oh and Taeyong, do hurry, wouldn't want choreographer-nim to get angry." She advised with a knowing smirk. With that she left closing the door with a little more force than necessary, leaving t the room speechless. 

"Hyung? Are you ok?" Donghyuck asked softly as he slowly moved in front of Taeyong , not wanting to scare him. Taeyong only shook his head slowly as tears welled up in his eyes. "Oh hyung I'm sorry." He whispered as he reached out ever so gently to him. 

Taeyong flinched back immediately, flashes of pain making a recurring feeling on where Nina had gripped him. The leader back himself to the wall and slid down, breathing becoming uneven.

"Oh no, hyung I'm sorry. We won't touch you if you don't want." Donghyuck reassured trying to calm the elder but it seems he was already to far out of it.

" Hyung breathe. She's gone. She can't touch you anymore , alright? " Chenle immediately stepped in as he crouched in front of the elder slowly. Looking into the elders eyes was almost too difficult. They where pools filled to the brim with panic and pain. Taeyong obviously didn't know where he was anymore and the panic seemed to be getting worse as the leader began to clutch at his chest. "Um alright, hyung can you do one thing for me at least? Can you tell me what number your at?" He questioned looking for any sign of acknowledgment from the leader. For a second it seems the leader was to far in the cloud of panic that he couldn't understand, that was until Chenle saw the leaders hand reach for the ground and shakily right out a number nine.

"Good hyung that was great, thank you for telling us." Jeno encouraged as sat down softly next to Taeyong . It was always important to let the elder know he wasn't doing anything wrong during one of these. Jeno remembers a time whenever they where all talking about their problems late at night that Taeyong mentioned when he is in his haze of panic he often feels that everything he does is wrong, so if Jeno can counteract any of that, he is doing his job right.

"Jisung go call Johnny hyung, tell him Taeyong is at a 9 and we need help." Mark ordered as he ran to his back pack and pulled out a hoodie he stole from Yuta this morning . It wasn't Yuta but hopefully th smell was enough to bring Taeyong down a number. He ran back over and handed the hoodie to Jeno before walking to the door to keep a look out for the others.

"Yongie, hyung we have Yuta hyungs hoodie do you wanna hold it." Jeno offered softly as he held the hoodie in front of Taeyong's face. The elders eyes seemed to focus at the sound of Yuta's name and he scanned the hoodie skeptically for a minute before shakily reaching out for it. Jeno smiled softly as the leader rapped himself around the hoodie, a clear sign that the leader was trying to ground himself. This was good they where making progress.

"Jaemin can you go check on how Jisung is coming along?" Donghyuck questioned , never taking his eyes off the leader. Taeyong only let a select few touch him when having a panic attack and Donghyuck wasn't one of them so the most he felt he could do at this moment was not take his eyes off the elder. 

"On it." Jaemin replied without hesitation , running off to where Jisung had went. Ok everything would be alright if they could keep the panic a little more contained until Johnny hyung or some one could be there. Yeah everything is gonna be alright. And It seemed like forever until Jaemin and Jisung came back, water and snacks in hand with depressed faces on, which only worried Donghyuck more.

"What happened?!" He questioned knowing something was wrong immediately.

"Choreographer-nim won't let them go till they finish another round of practice." Jisung replied softly. The room seemed to freeze with this knowledge . They where in deep crap, no one else is ever able to calm Taeyong down unless it's the eldest hyungs. 

"So...They arent....coming!? " Taeyong gasped out as he clutched Yuta's hoodie tighter and began to spiral more. 

Oh no that's bad, they can't have him panicking any more than he already is! But by the looks of it they where to late. Taeyong seemed to ,somehow, curl farther into himself with a panicked whimper which wrenched at the dreamies hearts. The leader seemed to start to spiral again, panicked breathe and sobs coming out more frequent as he rocked back and forth softly.

"If we don't get him to calm down soon he'll pass out again." Jeno advised with a clipped tone, ready to go rip their choreographer a new one. Everyone seemed at a loss for what to do until a soft voice broke through the sobs.

_"Help me it's like the walls are caving in. Sometimes I feel like giving up. No medicine is strong enough._ " Much to the surprise of the other dreamies Ren Jun was softly singing in English as he watched Taeyong carefully _. "Someone help me. I'm crawling in my skin. Some times I feel like giving up, but I just can't. It isn't in my blood."_ The dreamies where stunned for a second by the youngers voice but noticed soon that Taeyong seemed to be taking comfort in it. Then leader was beginning to breathe slightly easier which brought a smile to everyone's faces and hope that they could help.

_"Its isn't in my blood. I need some body now, someone to help me out. I need some body now."_ this time the other dreamies one by one joined, hoping to bring some comfort to the leader through the song. In part, everyone in the group has experienced anxiety in one way or another . And to Ren Jun, listening to music was a way he calmed down. So he thought, just maybe, it would work for Taeyong. And he seemed to be proven right. 

The dreamies kept singing to Taeyong as they say in the floor in a small circle. Yeah they could handle this for a little while, at least until the hyungs showed up. They'll protect Taeyong.

* * *

Johnny was pissed, needless to say he almost punched choreographer-nim in the face once practice was done. By the end of that damned practice it was already an hour past when Jisung had called Johnny. And the knowledge that Taeyong was panicking and scared somewhere where they couldn't get to him was angering the American even more. 

Which is the reason why the Nct 127 members where currently speed walking to the vocal room as fast as they could, anger and worry filling their every step till they set there eyes on the vocal room door. Johnny was the first there and automatically swung the door open, ready for the worst.

What he didn't expect to find, however, was Taeyong asleep on the floor clutching Yuta's hoodie as the dreamies all sat around him softly singing. The scene wasn't almost to cute to interrupt that was until Mark looked up and saw him and immediately stood, startling the others into not singing. Everyone's eyes snapped to the door in tandem. Johnny just shushed them softly and made his way over to Taeyong with a smile. He was so proud of the dreamies, they did good with out them there and that's all he could have asked for in this stsituation.

The American kneeled down beside the leader and ran his hand through his Taeyong's hair. "Sweets, it's time to wake up." he whispered softly. 

Taeyong groaned lowly and opened his eyes slowly to look at Johnny which caused the older to chuckle. "How long was I out?" Taeyong asked as he rubbed his eyes. Johnny only shook his head and slipped his hands under Taeyong's knees and back and lifted him up.

" Don't worry about that, let's just go home. "Johnny replied knowing Taeyong would blow a fuse if he knew how much time he had been down for. So the elder just moved Taeyong's head to his shoulder and walked out the door, dreamies following along silently.

"Dreamies helped a lot." Taeyong mumbled as they walked, which caused the others to short and chuckle. Johnny only smiled fondly as he watched the leader pick at his shirt buttons in fascination.

"Oh, they where? " Johnny questioned with a smile, easily going along with sleepy Taeyong's attempt at a conversation.

"Yeah, they sang to me." Taeyong hummed as he began to dose off on Johnny's shoulder. Yeah he remembers. That is certainly a new one, he'd have to make a mental note to try that one in the future. In the meantime the elder stepped into the elevator with the others and let the door slide closed. Johnny searched out Mark's eyes and nodded at him in a signal that they did good. He's proud of their boys but now all they needed to do was get Taeyong home and into bed. Safe and sound away from this wretched company and with them, that's where Taeyong belonged.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you all enjoyed!   
> Honestly I don't know if I like the scene with the singing but music has always helped me when I have a panic attack especially the song I put in this one. Woo if you like it maybe I'll include more info the story.  
> I made this late at night and my internet was being weird so sorry for any of the mistakes and I hope you enjoyed. Stay healthy loves 💜
> 
> Song- In My Blood by Shawn Mendes


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